If you could have written a book you've read, which would it be?

[Philidor]

Think about it. Herodotus' Histories. Fanny Hill. Chess for Dummies. The Maltese Falcon. What book have you read that you wish in your heart of hearts you'd been the one to write?

[Sid]

There are people here who would tell you I actually believe I wrote the ten commandments.

But I'd like to have written Gulliver's Travels--it would give me a kick to think that 300 years later it would not only still be famous but that most people would think it a *****ren's book and not understand how dark and incisive it really is.

[Philidor]

There are people here who would tell you I actually believe I wrote the ten commandments.

But I'd like to have written Gulliver's Travels--it would give me a kick to think that 300 years later it would not only still be famous but that most people would think it a *****ren's book and not understand how dark and incisive it really is.

I get that. When I was in elementary school, my folks bought me a bowdlerized version, with only the first three sections. It wasn't until junior high, and I was "permitted" to go to a real library, that I discovered the full book with the section that depicted humans as vicious monsters, and horses as noble. Not to say that the first three sections didn't have that, either, but it wasn't as blatant. I think Swift was far deeper than any other writer of his period: immortality, political expediency, hidebound ruralism: just a few of the targets he skewered. Wouldn't have minded writing it, myself, but...

I don't know. Maybe Herodotus' Histories. I know the history types think he's a lightweight, because he didn't know shit about how wars are fought, and in politics he depicted ideals rather than reality. But he's in some ways the world's oldest known anthropologist. He tells the stories peoples and cultures believe about themselves. And he's been found to be a lot more accurate in some respects than previous generations allowed. He was intensely curious, and fascinated by people, and can really understand how important that is.

Well, either that or Shakespeare. I wouldn't mind writing his works, but with a better haircut.

EDIT: All forum site owners write the ten commandments. It's their tragedy that nobody else thinks anyone did it except some petulant storm god with a long beard on a mountaintop. Hey--you don't think he developed a website long ago...?

[Ar*****]

To restrain myself and be content in choosing a single book only.... Gee.... I don't know.... How many times have I thought of this?
Well - I settle on Nabokov's Transparent Things (only 101 pgs).

Wonder what Nabokov will say on reading it....

[joew771]

I wish I had written Stephen King's books, so I would be a billionaire. Also because they are really good. But the authors I'm probably most jealous of are actually co-authors. Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson. They wrote some of the most amazing books I've ever read, 'The Illuminatus! Trilogy'. Virtually every page I would be amazed at how they did what they did. Never in a million years could I have written something like that.

https://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4081423...rilogy.pdf

Another is 'House of Leaves' by Mark Z. Danielewski. Maybe the main reason it's so remarkable is because you have to have a hard copy of it. A digital copy won't do it justice, because it has 'tunnels' of text that go through the book and text that circles pages and so on. It is a very physical book, and quite scary on top of that. One of the best books ever. Go buy it!

[Philidor]

I wish I had written Stephen King's books, so I would be a billionaire. Also because they are really good. But the authors I'm probably most jealous of are actually co-authors. Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson. They wrote some of the most amazing books I've ever read, 'The Illuminatus! Trilogy'. Virtually every page I would be amazed at how they did what they did. Never in a million years could I have written something like that.

https://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4081423...rilogy.pdf

Another is 'House of Leaves' by Mark Z. Danielewski. Maybe the main reason it's so remarkable is because you have to have a hard copy of it. A digital copy won't do it justice, because it has 'tunnels' of text that go through the book and text that circles pages and so on. It is a very physical book, and quite scary on top of that. One of the best books ever. Go buy it!

I remember greatly enjoying The Illuminatus! Trilogy a number of years ago. I've added the torrent, but it isn't being seeded. Hopefully, that will happen, and I can read it again without digging through my physical collection in the basement for my old copies.

[AareOnaKakanfo]

Probably 'The Dispossessed' by Ursula K. Le Guin. Or maybe 'On Cats' by Doris Lessing.

[kalilko_jaques]

I'd like to have written either Dan Brown's "Da Vinci Code", or Those wanky "Twilight" sparkly vampire slop pots.  
I could have then said to myself "Hang on a minute Tonto, this ain't right . . . " and pulled them before publication, thus avoiding the subsequent cultural sepsis they started.
But anything by Terry Pratchett, I'd have been proud to have written anything that even approached his magnitude of excellence. (Except maybe, "Diggers")

[Belinda]

I wouldn't mind being able to say I came up with Harry Potter!

[RobertX]

Nine***** Eighty-Four, a true Orwell classic.

You see, Nine***** Eighty-Four was the first book that I read that inspired me to read more books.