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[REQ] Rifftrax: The Return - Printable Version

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[REQ] Rifftrax: The Return - Don Juan Stober - Jun 13, 2022

I forgot how funny this one is.

The Return

When a boy and a girl spot strange lights in the sky, nobody could predict that thirty years later they’d reunite and fall in love, because that is very stupid.

But then again we’re talking about Greydon Clark, who gave us the movie where a cat barfs out a slightly more evil cat, so maybe we should have been expecting it.

Yes, long before Joe Don Baker wolfed down a triple cheeseburger on the set of Final Justice Clark decided to tackle a different form of cattle mutilation. This time it’s caused by aliens, or rather their human puppet, played by Vincent Schiavelli (presumably because he looks more like an alien than any FX Greydon could have come up with.) Standing in his way are Cybill Shepherd, whose expression of bored indifference is perhaps the only relatable thing in the movie, and Jan-Michael Vincent and his three first names.

Rounding out (ha!) the cast is Raymond Burr as well as Martin Landau, whose Oscar is now as legitimate as an Astros World Series trophy. Fortunately, they are not joined by either of Clark’s sons from Star Games.


RE: [REQ] Rifftrax: The Return - theCommodore64 - Jun 13, 2022

(Jun 13, 2022, 07:57 am)Don Juan Stober Wrote: I forgot how funny this one is.

The Return

When a boy and a girl spot strange lights in the sky, nobody could predict that thirty years later they’d reunite and fall in love, because that is very stupid.

But then again we’re talking about Greydon Clark, who gave us the movie where a cat barfs out a slightly more evil cat, so maybe we should have been expecting it.

Yes, long before Joe Don Baker wolfed down a triple cheeseburger on the set of Final Justice Clark decided to tackle a different form of cattle mutilation. This time it’s caused by aliens, or rather their human puppet, played by Vincent Schiavelli (presumably because he looks more like an alien than any FX Greydon could have come up with.) Standing in his way are Cybill Shepherd, whose expression of bored indifference is perhaps the only relatable thing in the movie, and Jan-Michael Vincent and his three first names.

Rounding out (ha!) the cast is Raymond Burr as well as Martin Landau, whose Oscar is now as legitimate as an Astros World Series trophy. Fortunately, they are not joined by either of Clark’s sons from Star Games.

I have a 720p HEVC version of it. Enjoy!

https://mega.nz/file/VRgC2Qpb#WVA7mGJT5*****hBwnlrRlUMebWeautOrUP4vQoHYnwV6I


RE: [REQ] Rifftrax: The Return - JetJaguar73 - Jun 13, 2022

(Jun 13, 2022, 07:57 am)Don Juan Stober Wrote: I forgot how funny this one is.

The Return

When a boy and a girl spot strange lights in the sky, nobody could predict that...
First, thanks to theCommodore64 for sharing!

For half a second I thought this was describing The Vast of Night (2019) and was like "that was a GOOD movie, I don't recall RT tackling this."

TLDR; Go watch The Vast of Night.  Cool AF flick that has absolutely nothing to do with riffing. 
And yeah, I know we are not they kinda board.


RE: [REQ] Rifftrax: The Return - SuspiriaTrumpsItFollowsCrap - Jun 14, 2022

(Jun 13, 2022, 14:37 pm)JetJaguar73 Wrote:
(Jun 13, 2022, 07:57 am)Don Juan Stober Wrote: I forgot how funny this one is.

The Return

When a boy and a girl spot strange lights in the sky, nobody could predict that...
First, thanks to theCommodore64 for sharing!

For half a second I thought this was describing The Vast of Night (2019) and was like "that was a GOOD movie, I don't recall RT tackling this."

TLDR; Go watch The Vast of Night.  Cool AF flick that has absolutely nothing to do with riffing. 
And yeah, I know we are not they kinda board.

The Vast of Night is FANTABULOUS (aside from audio issues in a few scenes) , and a masterful entry into the thinking-person's sci-fi canon, a raising of the bar for genre films!

It was absolutely worth the lonnnnnng wait from when it was 1st advertised !!  SO glad you dig it too!


I recommend it to all sci fi ppl w/ sensitivity in their souls!  A rare jem where the care in cinematography was matched by the earnest care that ***** actors tendered to their performances! TOP SHELF!!!


RE: [REQ] Rifftrax: The Return - Don Juan Stober - Jun 15, 2022

(Jun 13, 2022, 13:08 pm)theCommodore64 Wrote:
(Jun 13, 2022, 07:57 am)Don Juan Stober Wrote: I forgot how funny this one is.

The Return

When a boy and a girl spot strange lights in the sky, nobody could predict that thirty years later they’d reunite and fall in love, because that is very stupid.

But then again we’re talking about Greydon Clark, who gave us the movie where a cat barfs out a slightly more evil cat, so maybe we should have been expecting it.

Yes, long before Joe Don Baker wolfed down a triple cheeseburger on the set of Final Justice Clark decided to tackle a different form of cattle mutilation. This time it’s caused by aliens, or rather their human puppet, played by Vincent Schiavelli (presumably because he looks more like an alien than any FX Greydon could have come up with.) Standing in his way are Cybill Shepherd, whose expression of bored indifference is perhaps the only relatable thing in the movie, and Jan-Michael Vincent and his three first names.

Rounding out (ha!) the cast is Raymond Burr as well as Martin Landau, whose Oscar is now as legitimate as an Astros World Series trophy. Fortunately, they are not joined by either of Clark’s sons from Star Games.

I have a 720p HEVC version of it. Enjoy!

https://mega.nz/file/VRgC2Qpb#WVA7mGJT5*****hBwnlrRlUMebWeautOrUP4vQoHYnwV6I

So many thanks!!!


RE: [REQ] Rifftrax: The Return - SuspiriaTrumpsItFollowsCrap - Jun 16, 2022

theCommodore64 , you are sublime, thank you *truckloads* !


RE: [REQ] Rifftrax: The Return - JauntyTurtle - Sep 02, 2022

The link is dead. If someone could upload a copy, I'd appreciate it.


RE: [REQ] Rifftrax: The Return - jhs39 - Sep 03, 2022

(Sep 02, 2022, 16:44 pm)JauntyTurtle Wrote: The link is dead.  If someone could upload a copy, I'd appreciate it.

HD High (8.93GB):

https://mega.nz/file/l4lFESwB#RzuAii0uQLn-comT2u5CoBtSK3MOEE8tM-HQwCRDGuY

HD Med (1.55GB):

https://mega.nz/file/I01njTab#GkWJFY1caPbO_c3lHxK2L_L7RcDmFRtdB31rlI_oCLo


RE: [REQ] Rifftrax: The Return - JauntyTurtle - Sep 03, 2022

Thanks a lot jhs!


RE: [REQ] Rifftrax: The Return - intransitivelie - Aug 21, 2023

Does anyone still have this?